Joshua A. Callaghan, September 26, 1988 - October 16, 2009 (Photograph courtesy of Holly McCarthy)
The morning of Josh's death, friends gathered to write farewell messages, aside a mural drawn by Josh's friend Sammy.
"I'm really grateful that I got to know him for a moment, and those moments are the beautiful parts of this life... and I'm really grateful that he's at peace now. I've come to terms with death, in my own ways, a long time ago, and I know that it's a beautiful place to be. And the most important thing about experiencing a death is to support the people who are still alive, that knew that person. And to continue to live... rather than let it destroy you." -Angela Bartlett
"I just feel like if I told him I knew how he felt, how every day was hard, like he wasn't by himself in all this, then maybe he would still be here. But I can't sit here and blame myself, you know? It's what he wanted." - Heather Forest
"I'm sure we all wish we could have done something or been there for him more than we were. I don't think it's anyone's fault, I think he was just battling so many demons." - Wendy DeMambro.
Friends gather some time around 3am, the morning of the funeral, before beginning the seven hour drive to Josh's hometown in NY.
The night after the funeral, Josh's previous girlfriend, Tina, calls to say she's ready for her portrait.
On her way to class one morning, "I feel like more people are going on with their every day life and I still expect like a text message, or a phone call, and I'm not gonna ever get that again and it just sucks… And I think that's why it hasn't completely like settled for me, because it's just such a big thing..." -Tina Guay
Josh's belongings remain untouched, nearly a month after his death.
Amy Bettencourt prepares to pack the work Josh left behind. "I feel like there's so much I could say to him at this point, you know what I mean? But I think if I could have said one thing it would be even though we only had a short time together, I enjoyed every minute, and I am happy that he is free now." -Amy Bettencourt
Tina takes her first look at Josh's unfinished work. Here she holds a mold of his face into which he carved the word 'Loved'.
Only weeks after Josh's death, the charcoal outline of Sammy's mural is all that remains.
"I'm just proud of the times we had, and how he just always made people smile and laugh and enjoy life... and that will continue, just the memories that we have with him as friends... we all have our ups and downs, but he was just real close to my heart." -Sammy Johnson
On the one-month anniversary of his death, Josh's friend Sammy comes across a squirrel hit by a car, which he then proceeds to bury.
"Josh was just an excellent friend, an excellent guy, and he had just such creative insight. He was just an amazing artist and I wish he continued that passion, and he's just gonna be really greatly missed by a lot of people. It's hard to just think of how he went, and the fact of just being there as a friend knowing his struggles, and not being able to help in a way..." -Sammy Johnson
Sammy and his friend Mike gather at a bar, sharing memories of Josh.
Following Josh's death, Mike's English course was assigned "Romeo and Juliet", which he is dreading to finish, as he already knows the ending. Here Michael takes a break from reading the play with his friend MIchelle, for a cigarette.
"I want him to be around. And I know the decision he made and what happenned was his choice, and I have to accept that part. I think the biggest thing is I just want to tell him I love him once more and hear that fucking, that laugh of his. And see his eyes." -Michael Beasley
"Josh was just such an interesting being, and it kinda sucks cause you could tell from when you first met him that he was just not a happy camper, and I think he had been unhappy for a long time. I remember one time I found him in his room and there was just blood everywhere... crap, that sucked. I just hope he's happy wherever he is and I just miss him and wish I could have talked to him one last time, but you take what you have and make it the best you can." -Nicholas Curcio
Tina and her friends begin to go on with their social lives, heading out for a friend's birthday.
After hours of convincing people to dance with her to Josh's favorite songs, now despondent Tina sits away from the crowd.
"I really miss you and I really wish that I could have said goodbye to you in a better way, but I can't change that. And I really wish that you would've talked to me more about everything that was going on with you, because I feel like I might have been able to help you more, but I don't know if that's the truth... I think everybody thinks that right now." -Tina Guay
Tina's roommate, and classmate of Josh's, Liz has been a constant center of support and care for Tina.
"I mean, when it comes down to love I think he knew the most out of love than anybody. He might night have shown it, he might not have said it, I mean the way he expressed it was so deep, so full hearted, so… just feeling. And I've cried so much about this, and he's probably looking back being like, "Don't cry about it!" Why would you cry about something like this? He did what he wanted to do, you know? And no matter what decisions we make, we can accept our friends for who they are. Even if they are gone." -Liz Johnson
Tina making a trip to her family's beach house, where she took Josh on one of his first trips to the ocean.
"I remember when i brought him to the beach, it was one of his first times being there, and all he could think about when he saw the rocks there was different glazes for his ceramic pieces... he was wicked inspired by it. It was just really cool to see how he liked to relate everything to ceramics. And he was just so passionate about his work and i always appreciated that about him, as an artist and as a person." - Tina Guay
After months of near-silence, Tina slowly begins a return towards her normal, playful self.
One night, during Josh and I's freshman year, we snuck onto the roof of our dorm, where he spontaneously wrote upon the wall.
The same wall, nearly two years later.
A journal entry from one year past Josh's death.
The one year anniversary of Josh's death.
No Lies, Just Love
Josh Callaghan took his own life early one morning in October. After receiving word of his death, my world was turned upside-down - a feeling shared throughout our community of friends.
Naturally, I returned to Manchester, NH, where we had attended art school, to be with my closest friends. As a response, I began photographing all of our experiences - our moments of grief and growth - to come to terms with this tragedy. I continued doing so as a way to hold onto whatever pieces left of Josh that I could.
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