a feeling between belly and chest. it strikes against the shoulders. the shoulders make the arms follow them. i observe my hands, how they move around me, my belly, how it wants to touch my back. hips and hands. pressure on my skin. i'm there. i try to find out, what i'm made of. bones, muscles, flesh, skin is what i've learned once. i am without time. not to see oneself from the outside. it seems to be observable. i'm moving even when i'm standing still. what would i have been feeling? does the body want what you've been giving it or do you give the body what it wants? thoughts become experiences. i have to experience. i want everyone to experience. heads misguide. they have to feel to forgive. when i feel myself, i feel everyone. everything is language. skin, moving, touch. we know. the fear to recognize oneself. the fear to recognize oneself in another. falling too fast to see where you’re going. not having to know, what you're gonna discover. there is no repetition. i will always learn. no matter what i do. i will think. quiet. breathe. breathe on. expose oneself. it'll be good. it’ll not seem to matter.
When dealing with dance as a subject I wanted to avoid clichés and the impression it often gives by trying to make pictures that show people turning their innermost feelings to the outside. I view it as an essential way of expressing oneself - a way we have almost completely forgotten how to use. We doubt our feelings, when we don't find words for them. Because of my work I don't see dance as something defined anymore, that one does when there's music, but rather movement, gestures and touch, constantly wanting to get out. In the end dance stands for something general: the entity of body, spirit and soul; the ability and necessity of communicating in different ways than through verbal language; the desire to experience things beyond the thinking mind and to feel oneself in order to develop empathy.
For this work I followed two New York based dance companies for a couple of weeks, with permission to constantly document their everyday life. in that period of time I got close with some of the dancers which made it possible to go into the studio with them and find out what happens when things like stage, stress, choreography and representative behaviour are excluded. How does someone move without being directed and how do I react to this.